100+ Funny Christmas Wishes Messages And Quotes

100+ Funny Christmas Wishes Messages And Quotes

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We provide you here an awesome list of top funny Christmas wishes messages and quotes for that very hot season of Christmas when you will want to celebrate every lover in your life, relative and lots more, we got you back tight so that you don’t miss out with the best words to express your wishes for your dearly ones.

Like the snow in the winter, joy dominates during Christmas. This is a time to rejoice like never before. Nothing can get you in the holiday spirit more than a humorous Christmas wish. You can spread the joy of Christmas by using these amusing Christmas wishes. These are some of the funniest holiday greetings to brighten someone’s day. Therefore, don’t be afraid to inject some clever humor into the Christmas SMS that you send to your friends and loved ones. You could be looking for some amusing and humorous Christmas wishes and greetings this year.

 

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100+ Funny Christmas Wishes Messages And Quotes

From Here Down Is The Full List Of The Top 100+ Funny Christmas Wishes Messages And Quotes

1. “I came upon a man on the street while out Christmas shopping. I commented on his slow-moving watch after noticing it. So did the man I stole it from, he added. – David Letterman

2. “Let’s spare Santa the trip by being naughty “Garry Allan

3. Maya Angelou once said, “I have found that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he manages these three things: a wet day, missing baggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.”

4. There is only one fruitcake in the entire globe, but people keep sending it to one another as gifts “John Carson

5. “Christmas: It’s the only occasion that falls on a government holiday and is a religious holiday. Christians may attend their services in this manner, while everyone else could sit at home and consider the true significance of the separation of church and state. [Samatha Bee]

6. “Knowing that tomorrow’s garage sales are today’s Christmas gifts is always comforting.”

[Milton Berle]

7. “Christmas is a box of decorations for the tree that have joined the family.”

Charlie M. Schulz

8. “We give each other motorized tie racks to commemorate the birth of one who ordered us to give everything to the poor.” William McKibben

9. “Having a few dollars in your pocket makes it simpler to feel a little more spiritual.” Craig Ferguson.

 

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100+ Funny Christmas Wishes Messages And Quotes

 

10. “I enjoy the holidays. I get so many lovely gifts that I can’t wait to exchange them. (Henny Youngman)

11. “Christmas is the first horrible indication that it is better to go and hope than to arrive,” said someone. Steven Fry

12. “Santa Claus is thinking smart. Only go to folks once a year. Vicente Borge

13. “Santa knows where all the bad girls live, which is the major reason he is so cheery.” [George Carlin]

We’re all miserable, and it’s Christmas, so I don’t know what to say. — National Lampoon’s Holiday

15. “Christmas is a baby shower that really went too far.” [Andy Borowitz]

16. “I still haven’t taken down my Christmas decorations. They complement the pumpkin so well. —William Spear

17. “Man goes through three stages: he is Santa Claus, he doesn’t believe in Santa Claus, and he doesn’t believe in Santa Claus.” Robert Phillips

18. “When I was six years old, I stopped believing in Santa Claus. He asked for my autograph when my mother brought me to visit him in a department store. Shirley Temple.

 

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19. “Christmas Eve!” We all behave a little nicer, smile a little easier, and cheer a little louder on this one night of the year. We are the individuals we always imagined we would be for a few hours out of the entire year. — William Murray

“Mail your packages as soon as possible so the post office can lose them before Christmas,” said John Carson

21. “Looking for a job the next day is what I don’t enjoy about corporate Christmas parties,” [Phyllis Diller]

22. “Aren’t we losing sight of Christmas’s fundamental meaning? You are aware of Santa Claus’ birth. The Simpsons’ Bart

23. You can’t mislead me, there isn’t a Sanity Clause, [Chico Marx]

24. “Nothing shouts holidays like a cheese log,” [Ellen Degeneres]

25. “The Supreme Court determined that a nativity scene cannot be shown in Washington, D.C. There were no religious motivations for this. They were unable to locate a virgin and three wise men. [Jay Leno]

26. “I always giggle when I see a Christmas sweater,” [Kristin Wiig]

27. “This is a fantastic time of year for me because I grew up on a Christmas tree farm. I was too young to assist with loading the trees onto automobiles and carrying them up the hills. I was therefore given the task of removing the praying mantis pods from the Christmas trees. The issue with that is that if you leave them there, people will carry them inside. One day I forgot to check, and hundreds of thousands of them hatched all over these people’s homes! Swift, Taylor

28. “Christmas is the only time I can legally indulge in one particular addiction: glitter, so I don’t want it to end.” (Eloisa James)

29. “In the past, the holiday season was not known by that name; Christians and Jews observed Christmas and went to church, respectively, while atheists partied and drank. People would say “Merry Christmas,” “Happy Hanukkah,” or (to atheists) “Look out for the wall” as they passed each other on the street. David Barry

 

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100+ Funny Christmas Wishes Messages And Quotes

 

30. “My spouse thinks that becoming Scrooge is the best way to get into the holiday mood.” Melissa White

31. Christmas is one of my favorite holidays since it is such a carefree and low-stress occasion. King, Stephen

32. “White Christmas” is the “Bohemian Rhapsody” of holiday music.

33. We elves make an effort to consume only foods from the four major food groups—candy, candy canes, candy corns, and syrup.

32. Keep receipts for all significant purchases, as well as your friends and adversaries

35. “Oh look, another holiday television special! How heartwarming that beer, fast food, and soda delivered the true essence of Christmas to us! Who would have thought that consumer culture, popular entertainment, and spirituality would blend so well? William Watterson

36. Do you understand why so many people adore Jesus? No Christmas without Christ. Melissa White

37. “Thank you, stockings, for being a lengthy, flammable item of clothing people like to hang over a raging fireplace,”

38. I detest the radio at this time of year because it plays “All I Want For Christmas Is You” practically nonstop. And even that is insufficient.

39. No matter what religion you practice, please take a time this holiday season to consider why it is superior to all others.

40. Nothing is as cruel as giving a young child something practical for Christmas, [Kin Hubbard]

 

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41. “What I enjoy about Christmas is that you can use the present to help people forget the past,”

42. The Christmas spirit is the only thing that disassembles and disintegrates more quickly than a circus

43. “Christmas sweaters are only permitted as a cry for help,” [Andy Borowitz]

44. Christmas is the time of year when you spend money from the following year to buy gifts for this year.

45. Never be concerned about the size of your Christmas tree. Children see them as being all 30 feet tall. Lawrence Wilde

46. “People getting support from people other than myself is the true spirit of Christmas,” [Jerry Seinfeld]

47. “Singing loudly for everyone to hear is the best way to share Christmas cheer.” — Elf

48. Christmas is a competition to see who can distribute their money or feet first,

49. “Sending Christmas cards is a great way to show your loved ones that you think they’re worth the cost of a postage,”

50. “The Christmas party at the office is a terrific chance to catch up with colleagues you haven’t seen in 20 minutes,”

51. “A Christmas miracle is when your family stays out of fights all day long.” Melissa White

 

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100+ Funny Christmas Wishes Messages And Quotes

 

52. “Christmas is still 17 shopping days away. So, guys, that means we still have 16 days until we start shopping. O’Brien, Conan

53. “One benefit of Christmas shopping is that it prepares you for the bargains in January.” Grace Kriley

54. “A Christmas shopper’s issue is one that has been around for a while.”

55. “From a commercial standpoint, Christmas would have to be invented if it didn’t already exist.” Katrina Whitehorn

55. “Even before Christmas has said Hello, it is yelling Buy Buy,”

56. Money is the perfect Christmas present, but there’s a catch: You can’t charge it. [Bill Vaughan]

57. “There are numerous things that money cannot buy. My son’s list does not contain any of them. [Milton Berle]

58. It’s that unique time of year when your entire family congregates in one location to check their telephones,

60. “Mistletoe,” Luna mused, pointing to a sizable cluster of white berries that was almost directly over Harry’s head. Out from under it, he leaped. Good idea, Luna sincerely remarked. “It frequently has nargles infestations.”

 

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61. “You can tell you’re getting older when Santa starts to seem younger.”

62 “At Christmas, there is a startling decline in intelligence and taste. Adult, responsible guys wear holly leaf neckties and indulge in alcoholic beverages that also contain raw egg yolks and cottage cheese.”

63 “I’ve learned from drinking that you should go Christmas carolling with a group if you ever do it. Moreover, travel in mid-December.”

64 “I told my partner months in advance that all I wanted for Christmas this year was an Xbox. I’m done now. Xbox at the start and end of the list. She gave me what, do you know? a handcrafted frame featuring a snapshot of the two of us from our first outing. That was okay. I gave her an Xbox as a result.”

65 “On Christmas, I achieved a personal best. I finished my shopping three weeks in advance. I was halfway through wrapping all the gifts back at my apartment when I discovered I had chosen the incorrect wrapping paper. Happy Birthday was written on the paper I used. I simply scrawled “Jesus” on it because I didn’t want to waste it.”

66 “For Christmas, I purchased my brother some wrapping paper. In order to let him know when to stop unwrapping it, I brought it to the gift-wrapping department and asked them to wrap it in a different print.”

People should be concerned about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas instead of worrying so much on what they eat between Christmas and New Year, according to quote number 67.

68. “Like many women, my wife truly enjoys wrapping things. She wraps the batteries individually if she gives you a gift that needs batteries, which strikes me as being very near to being a sign of mental illness. y

69. “I sent Santa organic soy milk and gluten-free cookies, and he filled my stocking with a solar panel,” I wrote.

71. “Santa is obviously dead. What do you suppose would happen if you make a guy eat a trillion cookies in one night?

71. “People behave inexplicably at Christmas time! What other time of year do you eat candy and nuts out of your socks while sitting in front of a dead tree in the living room?

72. More than Santa Claus, your sister is aware of your good and bad deeds,

 

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100+ Funny Christmas Wishes Messages And Quotes

 

73. Christmas is always a challenge for the man who tries to persuade both his wife and children that there is no such thing as Santa Claus.

74. “Tea is required during Christmas,” Family members are optional.

75. “I receive less pointless gifts as I become older. The less I get, the less wrapping I need to do to give them again at Christmas.

76. When you receive your credit card bill in January, you can practically hear Santa Claus screaming “Ho, Ho, Ho.”

77. “I never get to see Santa Claus come down the chimney because I always get too weary and go to sleep while waiting for him after eating all of his cookies.

78. “Santa’s reindeer have athletes’ feet, which helps them move around so quickly.

79. “Again, we come to the holiday season, a very religious period that each of us honors, in his or her own manner, by visiting the mall of his or her choosing,”

80. “Once, for Christmas, I gave my kids a set of batteries with a message that read, ‘Toys not included.'”

81. Don’t get your tinsel tangled,

 

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82. Christmas is great because we all experience it together and it’s mandatory, like a thunderstorm.

83. “Dear Santa, how much do you already know before I explain?”

84. “Santa is mostly happy since he knows where all the naughty girls reside,”.

85. Why is Christmas much like a typical workday? The obese person in the suit gets all the credit despite the fact that you do all the work.

86. “Until Santa checks the naughty list, it’s all fun and games.”

87. “On December 25th, I’m solely a morning person.”

88. “You get underwear for Christmas once you stop believing in Santa.”

89. “You know what I got for Christmas?” I asked. Fat.”

90. “I’m picturing a snowy Christmas,” But I’ll drink the crimson if the white runs out.

91. “Dear Santa, I was framed,”

92. “Single all the way.”

93. “Sleigh all day, then cabernet,”

94. Santa Clause dons a red outfit. He has to support communism. plus long hair. He must support peace. What is he smoking in that pipe?

95. “Some folks are merely counting the days till Christmas, while others are born for Halloween.”

 

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96. Even if you’re at home, you can be homesick around Christmas,

97. I just want to have enough money to buy enough decorations to decorate more than one side of the tree,

98. “I wish we could save away some of our holiday cheer in jars and crack one open every month,”

99. “Let’s get lit,”

100. “People run out of money before they run out of friends over the Christmas season.”

 

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